Invest in yourself How to ask for feedback at work

Wanting workplace feedback and knowing how to ask for it are two very different things. Even though asking for and receiving routine feedback on your workplace performance is indispensable to career growth, it can feel like navigating a minefield if you don’t have much practice doing it.

Plus, the very thought might have you asking questions like, “Would I be a nuisance for asking them?”, “How will I react?” or the crowd favorite, “Will my reaction hurt their feelings?” Take comfort in knowing you are far from the first person to have these kinds of reservations, no matter how high you rank in your organization. Better yet, there are practical, effective ways to tackle all these concerns surrounding workplace feedback – keep reading to learn how.

Location, location, location

We’re not just talking about the physical location, either – timing your feedback request right is equally as important. You’re likely to receive a different response if you ask for feedback on a Tuesday morning as opposed to a Friday afternoon. Forget about getting any kind of meaningful answer if you ask the person minutes before a big meeting, too, no matter what day of the week it is. Being considerate of the other person’s time and schedule is the first step toward a good request for workplace feedback.

Of course, you are ultimately the person who can best answer that question, as different organizations work on different cadences. Even so, there are other factors to consider when teeing up to ask for and receive workplace feedback.

Your ability to handle criticism. Delivering feedback may be just as hard as asking for it – especially if the person on the receiving end doesn’t handle criticism well. This means that to get good feedback, you have to be a good receiver of it. Always start and end the exchange with a thank you and acknowledgement of the other person’s time.

But what happens if they share something that feels like a gut punch? For starters, take a breath – no one likes hearing about what they’re not doing well. However, these are critical moments in which you can show your character; how you react to negative feedback says much more about you than how you react to praise.

Try to maintain as neutral of a facial expression as possible, look the other person in the eyes and show them you’re actively listening to them. You might even try paraphrasing what they're telling you to show you understand what they’re saying. Fight the urge to interrupt, defend yourself or justify your actions. As natural of a response as this may be, it’s important to let the other person finish speaking first. Immediately attempting to defend yourself may signal that you’re more concerned about looking and feeling good than actually listening to what the other person has to tell you – the information you asked for, no less!

Understand that you might not react well to certain feedback points you receive, so try to psychologically brace yourself as much as possible. What’s more, keep the overarching goal in mind as you have this conversation: You’re looking to improve your performance so that you can help both yourself and others.

What kind of feedback you’re looking for. When you stop and think about it, it’s actually pretty tough to answer a catchall question like, “How am I doing?” Make everyone’s lives easier by fleshing out the intent behind your request before asking anyone. If you’re looking for specific feedback on a recent project or your performance in a key area, make that known. More specific questions get more specific feedback. Clarify if need be.

Communicating your intent becomes even more important when requesting feedback from employees who answer to you. It’s not uncommon for some of these employees to react with fear and/or anxiety if your intent is unclear, as they might think their job security is in danger. Do right by them and be as transparent in your request as possible – this will allay their fears and signal that you want to perform well for them in return.

Different team members need different approaches

Consider how you speak with your colleagues compared to how you talk to your boss. Chances are you are much more casual with the former, while a bit more buttoned-up with the latter. Again, this varies widely according to company culture, but common sense tells us that it almost never hurts to be a little extra courteous to your workplace seniors.

But bosses aren’t the only colleagues you might want to get feedback from – let’s break down some tactics when soliciting workplace feedback from other employees you likely interact with.

Colleagues. Peer-to-peer might feel like an easier dynamic to navigate when requesting workplace feedback, given the level playing field you share. Your peers may even be able to give you the most candid answers, as they neither manage nor answer to you.

Since you likely have more people to choose from in this pool, though, it’s important to be selective. Consider how personally close you are, too, or how often you’ve worked on professional projects. Try to find someone who is familiar with your work on a more granular level, but who isn’t necessarily your best friend, either.

Additionally, you might need to explain the intent behind your request a little more in-depth here as well; it’s far more common for workplace feedback conversations to happen between senior-level employees and the employees who answer to them, so your peers may be slightly confused by your initial request.

Subordinates. Employees who answer to you might be surprised to receive a feedback request from you – some may even feel a little intimidated or nervous, as mentioned earlier. Since you are in a position of authority, it’s important to put your employees’ minds at ease and make the intent behind your feedback request crystal-clear.

But there are other benefits to asking your employees for feedback on your performance. For one, it’s an opportunity to see how your team is faring under your leadership, and if there are any areas in which you could improve. It also gives your team members a chance to open a conversation on topics or events which they may not have much influence over in their role; in a word, these kinds of conversations can empower them, which in turn can boost team morale.

Asking for feedback is an inherently vulnerable request, and it may be refreshing to some employees to see their supervisor taking an active interest in learning from them. At the end of the day, we all want to feel respected and like our voice matters – asking your employees for feedback is a wonderfully practical way to convey this in a professional environment.

Higher-ups. Asking your bosses for feedback on your workplace performance Is probably the most common scenario of the three. Annual performance reviews often include time for sharing and discussing your workplace performance, as your managers are often held responsible for it in ways you may not realize at first.

Still, though, that doesn’t make it any easier. After all, your livelihood very likely rests in this person’s hands – it is indeed nerve-wracking to hear about some of the things you’re doing that might be jeopardizing it. The good news is that asking this question in the first place signals to your boss that you care about doing your job well and being a competent team member. Being proactive about strengthening your professional skills can make you an invaluable asset to any career.

Requesting feedback from higher-ups requires special attention to timing. Since they’re senior-level employees, their schedules are typically busier; you may need to plan ahead a bit to secure ample time for a one-on-one meeting. As a rule of thumb, try not to request a meeting any sooner than two weeks. Not only does this increase your chances of finding a time that works better for your boss, it gives you both enough time to self-reflect and prepare for the meeting itself.

Final thoughts

The biggest takeaway from all this is that tact, consideration and gratitude will take you far – no matter whose feedback you’re requesting. You’ll find that most people appreciate and respond well to a kind, transparent and genuine approach.

Try not to view these meetings as a one-off kind of thing; receiving ongoing feedback will help you excel in your role – no matter what it is. All to say that the more of it you get, the better you’ll get in turn.

Asking for and receiving workplace feedback can be difficult, but it becomes easier the more you do it. What’s more, learning how to ask for and receive feedback invariably sharpens important soft skills that can help you advance in any career, regardless of the industry.